4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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