the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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