i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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