I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
there's paper in my vomit.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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