The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
