I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
