Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
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