I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
