i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
false alarm. still invincible.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
