It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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