Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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