i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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