just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
