'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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