I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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