I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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