# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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