Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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