I want to stick my p in your. b.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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