A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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