I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Banned from zoo.
Again?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
