So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
