but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
