I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
