does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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