Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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