So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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