I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
