Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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