You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Houston, we have a blender
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
