The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
