We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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