If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
