I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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