It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We're using joints as your birthday candles
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
