stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
