He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
