I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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