its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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