I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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