I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
