so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
