I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
