what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
