why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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