grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
