he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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