i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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