I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
