My brain says no but my pants say off.
i barfeds in our rink
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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