I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
