You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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